The Cars Best Suited for Just One Task

A lot of time, cars will try and be good at everything, and fail miserably. They end up being great at nothing. The cars I’m going to list all aimed for one specific thing, and completely dominate it.

  • Alfa Romeo 4C: Putting Italian car reliability concerns out the window, let’s talk about what a wonderful car the Alfa Romeo 4C is. It’s the perfect dance partner for winding mountain roads. The sensible money would go to the Porsche Cayman. The Cayman is a wonderful car – don’t get me wrong there. It’s got fantastic power, an interior that would make any car proud, and is relatively affordable. Look at the Alfa Romeo 4C on paper. It looks like an awful car to own. Four-cylinder engine, manual steering, few creature comforts, and some interior trim pieces wouldn’t look out of place in a Chevy Spark. Drive it in the city, and you’ll want to stop it in traffic and run after the bus. But, take it out on a winding back road and you’ll never want to stop driving it. It’s got a guttural four-cylinder with a whooshing turbocharger, a quick-shifting dual clutch transmission, and who needs navigation or a radio for back road blasting? 
  • Dodge Viper ACR: All it takes is one quick look to realize that the Dodge Viper ACR is probably one of the worst cars to drive on a daily basis. It’s got a massive rear wing, a thundering exhaust note that you can hear from a mile away, and it’s just a big car. It would be intriguing to see someone try to daily drive one, but my spine says let them do it! This car is built to keep up with racecars on the track, and set records. That’s exactly what it does. So far, it’s set lap records at 13 different tracks. Yes, 13 different tracks. Few street cars, save for hypercars (even those would have a serious run for their money), could have any chance of touching this car. The exhaust note might sound like it’s right out of a tractor, but tractors sound nice to me!
  • Dodge Challenger Hellcat: How can you not love 707 horsepower for around $60,000? If you expected Dodge to turn it’s burnout machine into some sort of corner carving demon, you should just press ALT + F4 right now. It’s got no interest in chasing Viper ACRs and McLaren P1s around tracks or canyon roads; no this car is the best for burnouts and drag racing (it ran 10.80 seconds in the 1/4 mile on street-legal drag slicks).
  • Jeep Wrangler Rubicon: The Jeep Wrangler has always been one of those vehicles that even non-car people love. It makes you feel instantly cooler, no matter what job you have, even if you never take it off-road. This is especially true in Rubicon form. Just promise me that you’ll take it off-road, because that’s where you WILL be cool. You don’t need to do anything to it to go just about anywhere in it. Just put some gas, friends, and a cooler full of cold drinks and some snacks, and you’re good to hit the trails.
  • Mitsubishi Lancer Evo: There used to be a time when the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo was one of the most desirable cars out there. It had cutting-edge technology that made it feel like you were blasting down a rally stage, even if you were just going to work. Today, unfortunately, that’s far from the case. With Mitsubishi’s announcement that they are going to be ceasing production of the Evo, and no significant updates to the car since it’s launch in 2008, it feels, like well, a car from 2008. However, that all changes when you get less traction. It doesn’t matter how old the car feels; it just feels right at home. That’s where all Evos have shined, and this one is no exception. Taking one for a spin down a dirt road will put a gigantic grin on your face.
  • Nissan Versa: Many people think that the Mitsubishi Mirage is the cheapest new car sold in the U.S., but they are wrong. The Nissan Versa starts about $1,000 lower than the Mirage. If you’re paying $60,000 for a luxury sedan, $1,000 is pretty insignificant. With a $12,000 car, that’s a lot. Then again, you don’t get much of anything for that price. You get air conditioning, ABS, and traction control, and a radio. That’s about all of the major things on the car. Still, it’s the best at being the cheapest new car sold in the U.S. Yes there are dealer wars to see who can sell the car for the least amount of money, but that’s always been the case.
  • Ram ProMaster: If all the cargo you carry home is takeout from Domino’s, then chances are likely that you don’t need a Ram ProMaster. But, if you haul a bunch of stuff around all day, every day, then the Ram ProMaster is a great choice. It’s got an incredibly low loading height, and a lot of space. With all the stuff you can carry in it, you’ll be catching a bunch of nasty looks from UPS and FedEx drivers.
  • Rolls-Royce Phantom: Set aside it’s hefty price tag for a minute. It weighs nearly 6,000 pounds. It’s far from a driver’s car. Even though it has a 6.8-liter V12, it’s far from a fast car. But, the Phantom chucks all of those notions out the window. It’s not concerned with any of those petty things. No, it’s by far the most comfortable car you could ever be in. It’s sumptuous leather seats have only the finest hides sourced from the finest tanneries in the world. It’s whisper-quiet. It’s also astronomically expensive.
  • Toyota Prius: Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I lost my mind a very long time ago! The Toyota Prius is the ultimate car for fuel economy. The new Prius is more fun to drive than the previous generation, but it’s no sports car by any stretch of the imagination. If you go with the Eco model, you’ll get an incredible 58 mpg city and 50 mpg highway. It also looks worlds better. The Prius has been a ground-pounder in terms of paving the way for every other mainstream hybrid.
  • Pagani Huayra: For outright beauty, the Huayra is untouchable. It’s also stonking fast, but there are few cars that you can just sit and stare at for days at a time. It has so many beautiful little details that you really have to look for. It’s the brainchild of the absolutely brilliant industrial designer Horacio Pagani, the man who helped revolutionize carbon fiber technology back in the late 1980s.
  • Ford F-550: This behemoth pickup truck is one of the heavyweights in the towing/hauling ring. It’s basically a step below an International TerraStar. It can tow up to 26,000 pounds, which is absolutely mind-boggling. The insane part is that it does it without really breaking a sweat. It also costs a lot of money, but if you tow and haul lots of heavy stuff around all the time, there is no better option. All you need is a Class C driver’s license, which is the same one for passenger cars.
  • Mazda Miata: For cheap thrills, nothing beats a Mazda Miata. It’s cheap, fights far out of it’s class, and wins. It’s slow in a straight line, but few cars can catch it in the curves. It’s also really nice to go for a late-night cruise with the top down in your Miata. 
  • Dodge Grand Caravan: Like hauling people around, but don’t need a 12-passenger van? The Dodge Grand Caravan is your ticket. It’s got a powerful V6, lots of space, a nice interior, and is easy on the wallet. It’s probably one of the best vehicles to pile your friends in, and go for a long road trip in. Even the third row is usable for adults! 

Tell me what your favorite cars at one specific task are!

The Most Unlikely Off-Road Cars Ever!

Why should you buy a Jeep, a Toyota Land Cruiser, or a Subaru for off-roading pleasures when you could have one of these machines?

  1. Rolls-Royce Corniche: This car competed and finished the 1981 Paris-Dakar Rally! While it wasn’t exactly stock, it was still cool. It had a custom tube frame, a GM small-block V8, a Toyota Land Cruiser 4WD system and an 87-gallon fuel tank. It’s quite possibly the coolest Rolls-Royce ever.rollsroycecornicherallycar
  2. Bentley Continental GT Speed: This car might handle itself like a proper British touring car when celebrities and the upper elite drive it around, but when Top Gear” got their mitts on it, everything changed. They put rally driver Kris Meeke in the driver’s seat and Captain Slow (or James May) in the passenger seat. This meant that the car’s full potential was finally untapped. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrNzPInDja0bentleycontinentalgtspeedtopgear
  3. Aixam Mega Track: Yeah, the name is weird. They probably could have thought of a better one. Aixam built “world-famous” economy cars. Out of the blue came this monster. It was a 400 horsepower, four-seat rally/supercar/absolute beast of a car. Yes, it was unexpected, but it was a gift from God.aixammegatrack
  4. Ferrari 308 GTB: Yeah, you heard me. A Ferrari was a rally car. A very successful one at that. It made the podium 20 times at rallies across Europe in the early 1980s. Unfortunately, Ferrari’s rallying and winning shenanigans were put to an end when the FIA dissolved the legendary Group B batch of rally cars.ferrari308gtbrallycar
  5. Ford Galaxie: Anybody who has bombed down a dirt road in an old muscle car knows that they make the best rally cars. This Ford Galaxie races alongside other intensely cool old cars in the Baja peninsula. The governing body is called the National Off Road Racing Association, or NORRA. This heavily modified Ford Galaxie shows us how it does business, in a very good scary way!fordgalaxienorraracer
  6. Lotus Esprite: Yes, really. The classically-unreliable British sports car actually did a very good job off road. After watching the “Top Gear” episode where they took this car off road, I am still in awe of how well this car performs off road!lotusesprittopgear
  7. Geo Metro: Yeah, you heard me. The tiny, crappy economy car actually performs well off road. There’s a guy who actually LIVES out of the thing! Well, not living IN it, but he’s gone a lot of places in the tiny little car!geometrocampingguy
  8. Ducati 1199 Panigale TerraCorse: This motorcycle is already a great track bike, but a Ducati dealer wanted to take it a step further. He simply adjusted the stock suspension parts, swapped the tires and brakes out, gave it an amazing paint job, and fabricated a skid plate. This bike turned into a holy terror on dirt roads. Watch out BMX bikes!ducati1199panigaleterracorsa

Of course, there are many more that I could mention. However, these are some really cool unlikely off-roaders. If you’ve ever owned an unlikely off-roader that I didn’t mention, let me know in the comments section!

The One and Only Reason Why You Must Own an XBox One

Well, maybe there are more.  There are plenty of good automotive racing games out there for the XBox.  But, I think that Forza Horizon 2 is the only reason why you need an XBox One.  I’m going to be quiet and let you watch the launch trailer and debate on whether to mail me an XBox One, Forza Horizon 2, Forza Motorsport 5, and pre-order Project CARS while you’re at it.  I’ll probably never do another blog post again.  I’m not OK with that, but I will do a live feed of my progressions through the ranks of Forza on my blog…

Here’s the launch trailer of Forza Horizon 2.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMRQh6wFWHw

Why should you send my Forza Motorsport 5?  Well, everything from pure race cars to trucks to sports cars to luxury cars to economy cars and everything in between is represented in truly stunning details.  Each vehicle is able to go around most of the tracks around the world, again in stunning details.  Each car drives exactly like it would in the real world on the exact same track.  It’s just up to the driver to have fun and beat their friends.  The Rolls-Royce Wraith is now available in a variety of color schemes.  Rolls-Royce offers somewhere between a zillion and infinity paint options, but Forza only offers 12.  The Roller won’t be a slouch anywhere.  It’s got a 624-horsepower twin-turbo V-12, and power goes to the wheels via a satellite-aided transmission.  Yes, the transmission actually sends a GPS signal to a satellite to help make sure that the transmission is always in the right gear at the right time.  One cool part is the interior looks the same as it would in real life.  We’re dealing with a headliner that looks like the night sky, folks.

Send me a copy of Forza Horizon 2 if you’re not kind enough to send an XBox One – that’s what eBay is for!  You can even send me Forza Motorsport 5.  I won’t complain.  If you want to see a Rolls-Royce raising hell on a properly manicured British lawn, watch this video.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-pzol0sxro

A Chance to Buy Rare Muscle Cars from America’s Fastest Decade!

Owners of any given car can auction their car(s) off for any given reason.  You can auction the car off to get profit from an investment, to raise funds for another car, health reasons, etc.  Sometimes, however, it’s not the owner’s choice for the cars to be auctioned off.  Especially if the cars were purchased through illegal means.  David Nicoll amassed some very rare classic American muscle cars during his time as president of New Jersey’s Biodiagnostic Laboratory Services (BLS for short).  Now, Nicoll is facing somewhere between 17-22 years in federal prison for bribery charges.  His small collection of classic American muscle cars will be crossing the auction block on September 12 at a U.S. Marshal’s Service public auction in Lodi, New Jersey.

David Nicoll purchased his car collection literally through the blood of hours.  During his time as president of BLS, the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s Office say that Nicoll received $33 million dollars in payments from a medical blood test bribery scheme that he personally oversaw for 7 years, and which netted well over $100 million dollars in total revenue.  Per the prosecution, BLS would bribe physicians to send their patients for medical tests which were often unnecessary, to be paid for by insurers.  Not one to be sly and frugal with his illegal gains, Nicoll was an extravagant spender.  It’s on FBI and IRS record that he spent $154,000 at a gentlemen’s club, over $400,000 in sports tickets, $700,000 on an apartment for his “female companion,” and over $5 million dollars in cars.

But, we’re not here to discuss fraud and extravagant spending on things like housing, clubs, and sports.  We are here, my friends, to talk about his fabulous taste in classic American iron.

Nicoll did not spend those ill-gotten $5 million dollars on chrome-clad Lamborghini Aventador’s or diamond-enrusted Rolls-Royce Ghosts.  His collection did, however, include a few Ferrari’s.  Instead, the bulk of that money was spent on some of the finest, rarest, and most expensive classic muscle cars ever created.  The inventory list of the A.J. Willner auction looks like a “best of 1967-1970.”  For sale are a:  1967 Shelby GT500, a 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Nova, a 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Camaro, a 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Chevelle, a 1970 Plymouth HEMI Superbird, a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 396 L78/L89 Convertible, and a 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429.  Here’s the scoop on these cars:

  • 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Nova.  This is quite possibly one of the most coveted and valuable cars to be crossing the block.  It is a Rally Green 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Nova.  One of only 37 ever produced and believed to be only one of seven original Yenko-built Nova’s remaining, the Yenko Nova was said to be the fastest of the Yenko supercar trio because of it’s light weight.  It was able to get to 60 mph in just 4 seconds.  That’s about how long it takes a modern Porsche Boxster to get to 60.  Just like the other two Yenko supercars, the Nova is powered by Chevrolet’s answer to the 426 HEMI – the powerful L72 427 cubic-inch (7.0 liters) V8 Chevrolet big-block V8.  Nicoll purchased the car for $580,000, but classic coveted muscle car sales have been a series of peaks and valleys for the past few years.  The pre-auction estimate is about $475,000 or so, as another Yenko Nova sold for that in 2012 at the Indianapolis Mecum auction.  We shall see what the car will fetch at auction.
  • 1969 Chevrolet Yenko Camaro:  While “mass market” is a relative term for classic Yenko supercars, the Yenko Camaro and Chevelle were produced in slightly higher quantities.  Yenko only produced 201 Camaros and 99 Chevelles.  FBI records show that Nicoll spent about $365,000 on his Le Mans Blue Chevelle.  The amount spent on his Camaro was not disclosed.
  • 1970 Plymouth HEMI Superbird:  Nicoll didn’t limit his purchases to just Chevy’s – he bought a Tor Red 1970 Plymouth HEMI Superbird.  He bought the most valuable cars from the Big 3 (sorry, AMC!).  On the Mopar front is an extremely rare 1970 Plymouth Superbird with the 426 HEMI dressed in a stunning coat of Tor Red.  Plymouth only produced 135 Superbird’s with the 426 HEMI, and this car is one of even fewer HEMI ‘Bird’s with the 4-speed manual.
  • 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500:  I’m not exactly sure of what the color is, but it looks like it is Lime Gold Poly.  Even if it’s a different color, it doesn’t make it any less stunning.  The GT500 is powered by Ford’s powerful 428 cubic-inch Police Interceptor V8 (7.0 liters) putting power down to the wheels through a Ford C4 3-speed automatic transmission.
  • 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429:  This particular Boss 429 is finished in Grabber Green.  It is powered by Ford’s NASCAR-intended 429 cubic-inch V8 (7.0 liters) “semi-hemi” engine.  It puts the power down through a four-speed manual transmission.  It is quite possibly the most valuable Mustang ever created, with only 859 ever produced.

Those with a good deal of money wanting a bone-stock, amazing muscle car will almost certainly want to be in Lodi, New Jersey on September 12, 2014, for the U.S. Marshal’s Service Auction through A.J. Willner Auctions.  You can view the cars at A.J. Willner’s website at http://www.ajwillnerauctions.com/auctions/us-marshals-seized-vehicle-collection

 

Does the New 2014 Mercedes-Benz S550 Have What it Takes to Rule It’s Class?

Let me know in the comments section if you think that the 2014 Mercedes-Benz S550 can become the car that can rule the uber-luxury class.  I think it can, but then again, Mercedes usually does!

The Mercedes-Benz S-Class can sometimes go seven or eight years beforeinstituing a major refresh, redesign, or mechanical overhaul.  But, it usually leads in terms of sales and looks.  The 2014 Mercedes-Benz S-Class upholds that tradition, and it will likely be sold in droves – for a while.  Then, all of the competing automakers will make newer, nicer, and possibly better cars.  This segment is competitive.  Currently, the S-Class, Lexus LS460, and Cadillac XTS are the segment sales leaders.  The S-Class is likely to blow all of it’s competitors out of the water.  It is just that good.

It is loaded with features that will make your jaw drop.  This car isn’t yet another ordinary businessperson special with a cave-like interior.  It will drive itself.  Really, it will!  It won’t drive itself completely, but it is semi-autonomous!  It uses stereo cameras to guide it along the road.  The name is awesome, as well:  Traffic Jam Assist.  No, it won’t send all of the rubberneckers to the grave.  Only their own stupidity will do that.   To activate this marvelous system, simply hold the brake pedal down while stationary, flick the Distronic (MBZ speak for cruise control) lever down, and give it gas.  It will take you up to 37 mph.  The cruise control is then set for up to 37 mph.  It will follow the car ahead of you simply, smartly, and efficiently.  It will do that until your speed increases or you take control of the steering wheel and pedals.  Above 37 mph, it will still guide itself.  Kind of.  It will handle itself up to 125 mph, and it can bring itself to a complete stop at any speed if need be.  Those stereo cameras are also able to read the lines in the road, and keep the plump S-Class in between those lines without any driver input.  Above 37 mph, if you keep your hands off of the steering wheel for more than 10 seconds, then a loud BEEEEEP will sound, along with a flashing graphic instruction, until you place your hands on the wheel.  But, that’s just Mercedes-Benz’s lawyers telling you to be a good driver.  As long as you don’t take the S550 on any places where there aren’t any lines in the road (i.e. tracks and gravel roads), this car will take a person places where he/she has never gone before, all by itself.

There’s other zany technology stuffed into this car.  Take the badly named Magic Body Control that is an optional active suspension feature.  If you choose to order this, then the four-wheel air suspension goes away, and is replaced by oil-over-coil shocks.  The “magic” part of that is that those same stereo cameras scan the road ahead to see if there is a pothole, a speed bump, or some roadkill.  Given the right situation, the Magic Body Control is effective in a way that is quite simply effective, in a spooky sort of way.  The result is one of the smoothest rides out there, this side of a Citroen or an old Buick Roadmaster.  When you put the car in “Sport” mode, Magic Body Control is switched off, so you can hurtle around curves and crash and bang over the smallest road imperfections.  But, that’s what makes the car so enjoyable to drive.

In the unlikely event that you will be in an accident, you will survive just about any crash.  For those of you riding in the backseat (the place to be), there are inflatable seat belts.   When the rear door is opened, the seat belt buckle receiver visibly rises.  This is probably because most customers (think China) don’t wear their seat belts in the back seat.  Once they buckle up for safety, the buckle will retract a few inches into the seat, therefore cinching the seat belt across their hips so they do not slide under the seat belt in a crash.  Speaking of accidents, there’s a feature that will make any safety-conscious parent happy.  It’s called Pre-Safe Plus.  It actively and automatically prepares the car for a rear-end collision.  What the car does when it’s about to be rear-ended (it has seven rear-facing cameras), it tightens all of the seatbelts (even if they’re not in use), applies the brakes completely, and, BAM.  Applying the brakes for a full-ABS stop seems counter-intuitive, but it’s safer to not be moving when you’re hit.  It can also “see” pedestrians and other cars.  It reacts differently to both.  When it sees a car cutting in front of it, the brakes are applied for a full-ABS stop.  When it sees a pedestrian, the brakes are applied much earlier and gentler.

Even though it’s got enough technology in it to make a computer scientist have a heart attack, one of the best advances is in the interior.  It’s truly the first German interior to really stand out from the British luxury brands (Bentley, Rolls Royce, Jaguar).  Leather and wood gracefully snake their way throughout the stellar cabin.  The interior designer said that these designs were influenced by swan wings.  Let’s call this new technique “swanning,” okay?  If You own the outgoing generation of the S-Class, you will know about those four rectangular vents on the dashboard.  Six neat, circular vents have replaced them.  Combine that with the clock, and the seven circles (vaguely) resemble the pearls on a woman’s necklace.  I don’t ask.  The head designer of MBZ’s interiors said that from now on, all vents in a Mercedes-Benz car will be round.  I find it odd that the car that will be starting the round vent trend still has rectangular vents in the back.  One other fun interior flourish are the speaker grilles for the Burmester audio system.  They are covered in an impossibly complex pattern of tiny holes of varying sizes.  If you have trypophobia, don’t look at it.  For me, it becomes ever more fascinating when I look at the pictures.

The mechanical parts of the car are relatively unchanged.  The seven-speed automatic is still their, as is the 5.5-liter, twin turbo V8.  Power, however is better.  It has been uprated from 429 horsepower to a more powerful 455 horsepower.  Torque is the same at 516 lb-ft of torque.

Overall, the 2014 Mercedes-Benz S550 is the car to be measured against for full-size luxury.  It’s powerful, it’s loaded with technology that will take it’s competitors years to catch up with, it’s beautiful, and it’s got German engineering.  And German reliability.  I want one.  I won’t ask my readers.  I know the answer.  And it’s not yes.