This entry is guaranteed 100% to keep you interested and laughing.  I have been a bit technical in my last posts, so I thought I would relax a bit.  These are very funny car jokes that I have either copied or modified.  Please send me a funny story or joke of your own as a comment.

I have a calendar that was made by Car Talk, a radio show out of San Francisco. It is made by Tom and Ray Magliozzi.  They are hilarious.  Here’s some of their stuff.  I hope you enjoy, they are very funny.

This is by Will (a reader).  The Amazingly Efficient Fiat.

When I was a Volvo mechanic, our shop foreman bought a Fiat.  For a week, he did nothing but rave about its terrific gas mileage.  We decided to help.  We began adding gas to his tank on the sly-at first a pint, then more.

He’d brag about getting 34, then 50, then 63 miles per gallon.  He’d snarl at our gas-guzzling Volvos.  The Fiat dealership had several explanations for this amazing car: tight engine, American gas, driving habits.

Finally, we began reducing the amount we added.  Then we started siphoning increasing amounts from the tank.  The bragging stopped.  He became surly.  He kept taking it to the dealership, which had several explanations: tight engine, American gas, driving habits.  In the end he found out, and our schedules were screwed for months.  I worked 11 hours that Christmas Eve.

Please do NOT get any bad ideas from that story!!!

Some more?

“These are the “Recently fired Car Talk staff members.

Car-Seat tester’s: Fitz Matush and Drew Lee Weiner.

Grammar consultant: I.M. Shirley Wright.

Luxury car horn tester: Tony Blair.

Official spokesperson: Howie Vasive.

Corporate spokesperson: Hugh Lyon Sack.

Complaint-line operator: Xavier Breath.

Photographer: F. Stop Fitzgerald.

Senior-citizen driving instructor: Tonya Blinkeroff.

Regional director, Atlanta: Frank Lee Scarlett.

Leo Tolstoy biographer: Warren Peace.

Car Talk opera critic: Barbara Seville.”

Based on ahajokes:

“I was going on a freeway and a cop pulled me over.  He asked me if I knew that I was going 70 miles per hour in a 55 miles per hour zone.  I told him “I’m not going to be out for that long…”

I went through a stop sign and a cop pulled me over.  He asked if I knew that I went through a stop sign.  I said “I never believe everything I read”.

The archive of deleted jokes:

These jokes tried to make it to the upper pages.  They are not that funny, but, what the heck!


Who’s there?


Hum Who?

Hummer the car.

By: my little sister (hey, at least she knows what a Hummer is).


Who’s there?


Cargo’s who?

Cargo’s honk-honk!

By: my mom (my mom has not evolved a more sophisticated level of humor.  But I still love her.)

4 thoughts on “Keep Your Funny Bone Funny

  1. Candler –

    I like the light notes in this post. Below is one of my favorite car jokes:

    Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, a traffic cop was writing a parking ticket.

    So, I went to him and said: “Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”

    He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

    So, I called him a Jerk. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for the car having bald tires!

    So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!

    This went on for about 5 minutes. The more I abused him and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote – 7 in all.

    But hey, I didn’t care – my car was parked around the corner !

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