Close your eyes, click your heels three times, and imagine yourself in a bustling city where cars and Vespa’s whiz around cows the size of yaks. The air smells of manure, spices, and gasoline, horns blare, and there are crowds. We’re talking New Delhi, India. New Delhi is definitely no stranger to the thousands of sacred stray cows that roam the streets. Many cows are owned by illegal dairies, and the owners often try and seriously wound the 180 or so cow catchers the city employs. Sure, the bovines are quite mad at being taken forcibly off the streets. Perhaps, one of India’s national images is a lone cow sauntering down the highway. According to Parveen Kumar, one of the cow catchers, the cows spend their days munching on anything, be it a plastic bag (it is estimated that over 300 plastic bag’s are in just one of these cows’ stomach’s), a newspaper, a beer bottle, whatever these animals find, they eat.
According to Brajveer Singh, another cow catcher, the more dangerous folks are enraged drivers or motor scooter riders. These drivers and riders often get into fist fights with the cow catchers. The drivers and riders lose… Also dangerous are extremely religious Hindu’s, who have, on many occasions pelted these beefy bovines with stones, or worse, the cow catchers. This often means that the “smallest (all cow catchers are above 200 pounds)” cow catcher will often go and beat the stoner with his bare fists.
Another Singh, Virpal Singh (who is NOT related to Brajveer Singh), said that the “milk mafia” is the most influential obstacle. These illegal dairy owners often use political connections to get the cows they own back. If it wasn’t for these people, Delhi, and many other Indian cities would be bovine-free.
Here’s some pics of these big bovines…
This picture may look like photoshop, but it ain’t! These bovines happened to bull their way onto the track (get it?!), and leave some special ‘gifts’ (okay,excrement). Lewis Hamilton was a full hour ahead of Sebastian Vettel, as he wound his way around the track at an amazingly fast 16 mph (going downhill!), after being stuck behind a monstrous bovine! He clocked a blindingly fast 3 hour, 12 minute time around the track!
Don’t complain the next time you are stuck in traffic. Be grateful you aren’t stuck behind one of these bovine beauties!
8 thoughts on “Delhi Street Traffic (No, it’s NOT a Jewish Deli line!)”
Very interesting post, Candler! THanks. When we were in Africa, elephants crossing were the big danger.
Then you need something like a tank…
candler, i’m sorry i rarely reply, but i have to tell you I have your blog automatically come to my inbox, and it always makes me smile! Congratulations on your “stick-to-it-ness”, it’s impressive! You are a great writer….i loved your opening line! Having been to New Dehli, i KNOW these photos are the real deal!
16 mph is my kind of race! I think races in India are my speed (bad pun intended!).
Are you sure? I can set it up….
Love this post, Candler! Funny and amazing – and educational. One day I hope to see these scenes in person