Tales, Jokes, and One Reason NOT to Keep the Original Battery In Your Car!

As some of you might know, my favorite radio talk show about cars, Car Talk, isn’t going to be on air anymore.  Why?  Because Tom and Ray Magliozzi (the co-hosts of Car Talk) are going out of the radio show biz and into the exciting land of retirement, practical jokes, and fond(ish) memories.  I found one very funny tale of WHY to never use matches by a car battery, and a funny joke by a loyal Car Talk listener.

The joke comes first:  “A guy buys a brand-new Mercedes SUV.  He’s surprised to notice there are no buttons on the radio, but the salesperson explains that the radio is voice activated and all he has to do is say what he wants to hear.

The customer jumps in and says, “Country music.”  Willie Nelson starts singing!  “Rock and roll!” he exclaims, and immediately it switches to Elvis.  “Easy listening,” he says, and all at once it sound like he’s in an elevator.

Later that day, he’s driving up Route 128, outside Boston, listening to smooth sounds.  Then a couple of speeding Boston drivers fly by.

“Morons!” he yells.

The radio immediately blurts out, “Hello and welcome to Car Talk, from National Public Radio!”

Of course Tom and Ray aren’t morons.  In fact, they happen to be the SMARTEST morons ever!… (That’s my joke…)

Here’s the woeful tale of Jim and the car battery:

“Dear Tom and Ray:

One Christmas, I was on my way to a family gathering in upstate New York when my car stalled.  In those days, you could pull the caps off the battery to check the water level.  I raised the hood and took off the battery caps.  I couldn’t see, so I took out my lighter.  In my defense, there was no warning that the batter was explosive or not to use matches to warm it up.

A loud explosion blew the top off the battery and acid all over me.  I quickly used snow to get it off my face.  I had a hat and scarf on, so I wasn’t hurt much-except I couldn’t hear anything but ringing.

My wife rolled down the window and asked, “Should I try to turn it over now?  Is it fixed?”

I guess that’s one reason why people have their cars towed when it stalls!  Oops, little mistake there!

Happy Friday!